Hope
by cthrul
Summary: Emma makes an important decision regarding Killian. One shot, modern CS AU, teacher!Emma and dad!Killian.


_**So, I wrote this a while ago, out of the blue, with no intention of continuing it or writing the backstory because lord knows I can only do one-shots and I barely even finish those. So sorry if you want more of this but I doubt I'll ever write more of this universe (you have no idea how many unfinished fics I have). A little backstory: modern AU, Emma's an elementary teacher, Killian is the dad of one the kids in her class (Lily). This is when they start to get closer. ;) Enjoy!**_

* * *

They sit in the backyard, quietly observing his daughter while sipping from their beers. It should feel awkward but strangely enough it doesn't – it almost feels normal and _right_. Emma lets her thoughts drift into dangerous territory. She thinks of going with Lily to school every morning and leaving together, only to find a pair of warm blue eyes awaiting them in the yard; she thinks of normal and quiet dinners, each of them describing their day and what new things Lily learned; she thinks of said warm blue eyes and immediately the words _family_ and _home_ come to mind.

She's terrified. It's something she hasn't thought about in years – she was convinced her job would be the closest thing and it would be enough. Maybe it would have been but now, sitting in the backyard of one of her students' parent, she feels serene and content.

 _Happy._

It leaves her with a growing tension in her belly – all the horrible but very possible outcomes flooding her mind and all the repercussions they would have to face scare her beyond reason. It's a big commitment and _oh God_ they might move Lily to another class if (when) they find out and-

It's terrifying her. But this time it's different.

For once, she doesn't feel the burning need to _run_.

Emma was tired. Tired of telling herself that what she has is enough, of denying herself some selfishness, _no_ , happiness; tired of rejecting him when he looks at her like _that_ … She can't bear stomping down on the hope in his eyes or this other feeling she doesn't want to name because _it's too soon_.

But maybe it isn't. Maybe she feels the same way. Except she can't just blurt it out to him and _God_ , why is this so goddamned hard?

"Swan? Are you alright?"

Emma doesn't realize she's gripping the beer bottle so hard that her knuckles have turned white. She flexes her fingers tentatively around it, realizing she had been having a staring contest with it for God knows how long. Her breathing is coming out more shallow and ragged than usual and she feels the beginnings of a migraine behind her eyes.

"Emma?"

Suddenly he's before her, gently taking the bottle from her shaking hands (when did she start to shake?) and enveloping them in his. Emma is immediately hit with the sensation of his close proximity. His hands are warm, despite holding the cold beer just moments ago, and they feel rough, calloused from all the work he's been doing by the docks, but that's exactly the comfort she needs because it reassures her that he's _real_. She can smell his cologne from her position and it invades all of her senses, filling her brain with thoughts of him alone; the warmth radiating from him is enough to make her sweat but it isn't uncomfortable, not really, because she can't recall a time where she so desperately wanted to get even closer to someone. When Emma finally musters the courage and strength to lift her head to look at him, she can't look away from the piercing blue that meets her green. His eyes are usually full of mirth and mischief but now… Now they're soft and full of concern and that feeling she can't quite admit to yet and Emma wonders how many layers she has yet to uncover about this man. He should be impossible and yet here he is, standing in front of her, looking at her like she's all that matters in the world.

(Well, not really, he still has his daughter, but _still_ -)

Emma realizes she has been staring at him for too long because one of his eyebrows shoots up and it shouldn't affect her, he does it all the time, but it's just so…

So _Killian_.

"I'm… I'm fine, I just…" She barely manages to let out. She huffs, it's so frustrating. She's a _teacher_ for heaven's sake, she's goddamn _good_ with words but every time she's around this man, she cannot for the life of her articulate her thoughts into proper sentences. There are so many right now, floating around inside her head; her feelings are equal in number and hitting her like a ton of bricks. She wants to kick something, let it out, but there he is, his expression open and expectant but not annoyed or urging her to rush. He stays silent, giving her the time and option to continue but she can practically hear what he's saying.

 _Take your time, love._

So she takes a deep breath, lets it out and turns their hands, so she can squeeze his in a (hopefully) reassuring manner. She even manages to smile which immediately eases the worry from his forehead which makes the desire to throw herself into his arms and rest her head over his heartbeat _unbearable_ , so Emma wills herself to speak, to gather her thoughts before she does something stupid.

"Can we talk after Lily goes to bed?"

It's barely above a whisper and Emma mentally kicks herself for sounding so vulnerable. A wave of confusion washes over his face for a split second and Emma suddenly feels insecure and right before she can open her mouth to take it back, apologize (even though she said nothing wrong), Killian squeezes her hands and gives her one of his genuine smiles that both reassures her and makes her want to melt into his embrace.

"I would like nothing more, Swan."

And somehow Emma feels a bit of the weight on her chest disappear. Killian looks like he's about to say more but a tired "Daddy!" sounds off just behind him and he tentatively lets go of her and turns around to his daughter but not before placing a feather light kiss on her right hand, which leaves the spot of skin his lips touched tingling.

"What is it, darling? Are you ready to go to bed?"

Emma hears a muffled hum of approval from Lily and she watches as father picks up daughter, which makes her chest tighten. Killian holds his girl with the utmost care and love and by the time they reach the door to the house, Emma's sure Lily is fast asleep on her dad's shoulder. He seems to notice as well because a soft smile graces his lips, which Emma mirrors with her own at the endearing sight. She falters in the living room, feeling like she's intruding on a very private moment, so she lingers awkwardly behind the couch. Killian seems to notice her absence by his side when he's reached the bottom of the stairs because he turns around and narrows his eyes at her position. Emma chuckles softly and gestures to the sofa, at which she gets a nod of approval and something like hope and anticipation in those impossibly blue eyes of his. She sits on the couch and they exchange shy smiles once again, before he's climbing the stairs and she's left alone in his living room. It probably should've made her feel nervous or uncomfortable but Emma found herself feeling something drastically different from what she's felt in all of her past relationships.

 _Hope._


End file.
